Jessica Dolby planned to write a story, about her experience with catcalling and the shame, humiliation and unsafe feeling that follows it. She was excited. Actually, she was thrilled.
She sat down to begin writing but hesitated. Not only would her words would be read, on stage, in front of an audience, she also would have to relive the experiences as she wrote. She became overwhelmingly intimidated, but she finished it, and on Friday night, Dolby will head to Tivoli Turnhalle, sit in the audience and watch as someone else — specifically, a man — reads her story.
Dolby is one of 38 women whose stories will be read at That’s What She Said, an event created by University of Colorado Denver’s Women and Gender Center. Organizers hope to subvert a well known issue in gender studies, the credibility gap: A woman says something; she’s ignored. A man says the same thing; people listen to him.
“I’ve been working in law offices and financial offices since I’ve graduated from college, so I recognize the legitimacy of That’s What She Said’s mission statement,” Dolby said. “It’s time for people to hear female stories through a male voice to understand that what we’re feeling is legitimate.”
That’s What She Said co-founders Jamie Newton and Jacob McWilliams said they were surprised by the enthusiasm that met them when they proposed the idea. More than 100 women submitted true stories, and more than 100 tickets have already been reserved.
The idea sprung from a particularly frustrating experience Newton had during a barbecue at her parent’s house. She had worn a pink shirt that day, which sparked a conversation with a male friend of the family about the progression of women’s issues.
The two disagreed, and soon their conversation enveloped the entire party. Eventually, Newton’s father spoke up. The male friend listened and agreed to everything her father said, she said. But her father wasn’t saying anything new. In fact, he was simply reiterating what Newton, a women’s studies graduate student, had previously said. This wasn’t the first, nor the only, time this has happened to Newton.
Afterward, Newton, a graduate assistant at the Women and Gender Center, started talking with McWilliams, the center’s director, about creating an event. That was last school year, and now their work is about to come to fruition.
The center held auditions with men to decide who would read the stories. Many of them were uncomfortable, Newton said. But then they said that their unease was exactly why they should do this.
“I think it’ll be a really good event,” said Nick Patin, who will be reading. “I hope to learn something about myself through it. The opportunity to take part and support, using the years of privilege that I have just by being a male (and) to subvert toxic treatment, I think is a strong move.”
McWilliams suspected that the event’s popularity had to do with social consciousness at the moment, but both McWilliams and Newton were hesitant to link the event to Me Too. Both were happy to see the movement take off but said it was too limited in scope for what they are doing. Newton said the Me Too movement has largely focused on egregious assaults by men in power, and though it’s important to address that, there are other issues, too.
That’s why for That’s What She Said, women were given a broad prompt to write about their life experience, which led to a variety of stories. Some of them are about assault and harassment, but others are about work or dating.
Authors were given the option to submit their stories with their names or anonymously. Regardless, they won’t be identified when their story is read. Both McWilliams and Newton said they wanted women to feel comfortable sharing.
“We’ve seen what happened to women who tell their stories publicly and a lot of women rightly don’t want to go through the wringer,” McWilliams said.
The event is free, although organizers ask those who can to consider making a donation. Funds from donations and a silent auction will go toward establishing a Women of Auraria scholarship that will be awarded to students doing social justice and gender equity work.
Newton said she hoped the event would break the echo chamber, broadening who is talking about the credibility gap and the issues women face.
“If we are ever going to really change our culture around these issues, we need to be having these conversations with everyone,” Newton said.
That’s What She Said will be held at the Tivoli Turnhalle (900 Auraria Parkway) on March 9 from 7 to 8 p.m. Doors open at 5:30 p.m. for drinks, hors d’oeuvres and a silent auction. Tickets are free, but organizers ask those who can to consider donating. All proceeds will go toward establishing the Women of Auraria scholarship. thatswhatshesaidco.org